my mouth tastes like poor choices
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I understand Curling. That high.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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