So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Randomize
