it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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