Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
