Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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