Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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