i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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