We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
