what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
