it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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