Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
