he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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