Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Come on in and take your pants off
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize