haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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