You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
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