I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
