I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
