guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
