She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
