You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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