I love black thongs
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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