I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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