So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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