The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
