oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Is it because I queefed?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
being pregnant is like rehab
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
