if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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