I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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