Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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