Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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