yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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