It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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