try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
