Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
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Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
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A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.