You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
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She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
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It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm gonna fight the coyote