You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire