my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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