there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
