"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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