Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
