Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
