so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Gay?
German.
Pity.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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