I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
