remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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