i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I fill condoms, not promises.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
