The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize