i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
