That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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