Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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