I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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