She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
