it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
