Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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