he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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