My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize