pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
