You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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