Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
