I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
