i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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