everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Can I color on your dick again?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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