Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just pee around me
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
