I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
