i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i drank out of a bidet.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Randomize
