what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
