your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize