2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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