come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
