its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.