Wipe that smile off your face.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible