"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
